Dapo Adaralegbe, who was born male is the first Nigerian transgender we know, who now lives in the Netherlands as a woman named Stephanie Rose.
As a guy, he was a former Law student of Obafemi Awolowo University but was expelled in 2001. In a recent interview, he/she talks about the kind of life he lived, growing up and his sexuality before he eventually left Nigeria.
He left a few months after he wrote this. Read…
“I was studying Law at the Obafemi Awolowo University, (OAU), Ife. I am of the 1995 set, but I had to leave school in 2001 because of pressures. People were too harsh on me; they did not understand me at all. When I was in school, the school authorities got to know that I slept with my fellow male students. There was also an incident when I had to be admitted in the hospital. I was bleeding from the anus and I had bad pile arising from sexual intercourse.
When the school got to know the kind of person I was, they sent me to meet a Guidance Counselor, Professor Roger Makanjuola, who was the Vice Chancellor, who took care of me. You know he is a re-nowned Psychiatrist. He handled all issues relating to psychiatry with me.
He said I was okay and that nothing was wrong with my preferences, sexual-wise. He said it was just because I lived in an environment that did not tolerate that kind of behavior. He recommended that I should meet another Guidance Counselor but I did not follow up. Even at that, there seems to be very little assistance one can get medically in Nigeria. After a time, I tried going back to school but they told me I have stayed too long away from the system. I applied to change over to University of Lagos (UNILAG) and OAU authorities promised to assist with my transcripts, but they did not send it early, that was how I lost the chance of changing to UNILAG. I eventually dropped out of school.
I know this will shock you but I started having sex at the age of six. I had this cousin of mine who used to bring his friend to our house. He was the first to make love to me.
Since I was small, I realized that I had this feeling that I was a woman. I used to paint myself up and wear girls’ clothes. Nobody stopped or cautioned me. My mother later died when I was 11 years old. My father has other wives and no one particularly bothered about me. I am the last child of my mother, she had four of us.
I started having sex at the age of six, but no one in my family noticed the problem until I was 14 years old. My father is a Professor of Education. My mother was also a Professor in the same discipline. When my dad got to know, I think he was among the people who made Professor Makanjuola to examine me.
“The truth is that I had gone too far, and I don’t want to talk about my family in this issue. I have slept with a lot of people but my problem is that they were not faithful to me. They were not committed; we just have sex and they go away. I wish to have a committed partner that is why I have been trying to get a real lover, one that will care about me. In the alternative, I will like to relocate abroad where my kind exist. In the University, I had several lovers but they were not serious. I have several men that I sleep with, I won’t mention their names. They cut across the low and highly placed, just let’s leave it at that. What I want is a committed partner. If I had a choice between getting cured and going for a surgery that will change my sex to a woman, I will prefer becoming a full woman.